plz don't

[moneyballer]

[Today, Asher is particularly excited- A friend is coming over! While his sheer joy at the mere prospect of a visitor seems albeit pathetic, especially at his age, it's nice to have somebody over who isn't just using his house to hide from the police. He's prepared an assortment of unhealthy snack foods, including wings of the microwaveable variety, nachos with "extra" chili (read: white people spice level), and pizza.

In fact, he's so happy, he's begun to sing a very familiar tune in a high falsetto. As high as he can muster, really.]

I shake iiiit off, I shake it off-

[He tops this off by doing a little spin and a booty pop, only to realize that his guess has already arrived. Immediately, he sputters:]

T-That's, um. A rap song.

[Jin is Asian and from the eighteenth century, or some shit. Right? He can't know who Taylor Swift is. Then again, he is gay.]

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[moneyballer]

[He'd shy away from that glance if he wasn't so upset, and it all comes flooding back.

Chilly, the air around him is chilly again, even though there's no wind and he knows that the temperature hasn't changed. Maybe it would be easier if he jumped into the water, icy cold at this time of night probably, and swum far away.]

I'm fucking miserable in this place.

[Asher wants to bite his tongue until it bleeds, but his mouth runs instead, just the way it wants to.]

I try. I try really, really, really friggin' hard!

[Yelling, hysterical almost:]

To do something right! And every single time, it... It backfires, like, it just gets even worse.

And it's not like I don't care about people. I do. I do, a lot, and I know I'm not the coolest guy ever. I know that there's a lot of stuff I'm really clueless about because of who I am and where I come from-

[Inhaling deep, now, because he's made himself very upset:]

But I just want to mean something to somebody. Any-freaking-body!