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whose fucking baby is this

that plurk meme about babies: the rp meme edition

DIRECTIONS:
1. comment
2. your character has a baby
3. or maybe my character has a baby
4. we just don't know
5. try not to hurt yourselves

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[PLEASE HELP HIM HE ONLY KNOWS HOW TO TAKE CARE OF CATS]

[at least he's better at babies than travis (this is not a difficult feat)]

[actually a disney prince so MAYBE HE'LL BE???? OK???? ok no he's a noble he has no fucking idea what to do with babies but he has tenacity or something]

[GOD HELP THIS POOR CHILD]

[i think berto is the only character here competent enough to deal with an actual baby]

...

[Travis. Travis. Travis.]

You aren't supporting its neck properly. Give it here.

[OKAY NO ASHLEY CAN PROBABLY ALSO TAKE CARE OF A CHILD

SINCE HE (MIGHT HAVE) HAD ONE

LET'S CRY ABOUT THAT]

[he's holding this child terribly. thankfully it's not crying (YET) but oh god it's wobbly why is this happening to him]

What do you mean, I'm not supporting it? How the hell're you supposed to do it?

[CAN YOU FEED BABIES POCKY?!?!]

Like this.

[she takes the bundle from him and shifts it in her arms so that the head is propped up correctly. for a moment, she forgets that Travis is there--oh it's too cute, too darling--and then she remembers and snaps out of her maternal daze.]

Where did you get this child?

[FOR EVERYONE'S SAKE LET'S SAY THIS BABY IS TATSUYA WHO IS OLD ENOUGH TO EAT CHOCOLATE WITHOUT GETTING SICK BECAUSE JFC YOU TWO. THATS NOT HOW YOU BABY]

Whoa! Who'd have thought a baby could eat that much pocky?! Look at him go!

[tatsuya is laughing like he's gone nuts and there is chocolate all over his hands and face SOMEONE PLEASE CALL MADOKA]

[the baby fusses upon movement-- travis may not have been holding it correctly, but it was comfortable there-- but only briefly. Juliet's doing it right, after all. Travis watches, committing the careful positioning of her arms to memory--]

[THEY COULDN'T TAKE CARE OF THOSE EGG BABIES THEY GIVE YOU IN HOME EC OK.]

Maybe we shoulda ground 'em up for baby food first...Ah, well, he'll be fine, once he gets over the sugar rush...

[this mess is getting out of hand MADOKAMI HELP US.]

[and stops at that question

a

long

silence.]

D'you seriously expect me to have any actual exposition? Juliet, this is a meme. I don't even know if it's in continuity.

[a shorter silence.]

So, uh. I dunno where the kid came from.

[i bet you one of them boiled it and the other one ate it and they both realized later like 'oh SHIT']

Ground up pocky? That totally ruins all the fun! Right, Tatsu-- ack, not the face!

[now she's got chocolate on her face. oops.]

[They went to the grocery store and bought a new egg and tried to fake it like it was the first.]

Food's about eating, it can't always be fun! [Ok this is pretty funny.] 'Cept when it is.

[Pfff--OH HEY NOT THE HAIR.]

...If this isn't in continuity, then what's going to happen to the child once this plot thread is snipped off? Will it vanish? Will it grow up alone?

[no wait. that's horrible, and her eyes grow wide in horror.]

We can't let that happen, so we have to find its parents. Else we have to become its parents.

Are you going to name this Jeane, too?

[they absolutely did. it was a flawless plan, sort of.

meanwhile Tatsuya is laughing and blabbering about how pretty Kyouko's hair is while he tugs it. and gets more chocolate on it. you did this to yourself, you two.] T-Tatsuya, no, not her hair!

[TRYING TO REMOVE HAIR FROM BABBY FIST] He's having a little too much fun. It doesn't hurt?

Edited 2014-07-04 04:40 (UTC)

[Um.

Dude.

Did you seriously steal a baby. What the hell.]

[serious as shit.]

We're not getting married.

No!

[A BEAT]

And it's not my baby!!

[do you know that anime cloud of gloom and sadness well it's on her and she's turned away.]

I will never be a bride. Not even in a meme.

[it's not his baby oh my god]

Don't just stand there, help me with this thing!

Then where did you get it? The baby store? [ stares at the bundle of joy in question... you're in great hands, baby. great. hands. ]

[SIDE EYES SO HARD THO]

Uh-uh. You're not dumping it on me.

You're not guilting me into marrying you, either!!

[oh no loud noises

baby is beginning to whimper in frustration

juliet do something]

It's fine, I'm used to rejection. Doesn't mean it doesn't sting.

[ok anime gloom can wait for a second while she listens and then begins to slowly rock the baby in her arms. shhhhh it's ok that man is just a pathetic otaku who would want to marry him anyway shhhh]

I will go out and help you find a freakin' husband, so long as it's not me.

[baby is quieting down. a little.

no jk it's wailing now.]

J-Jules! The hell'd you do?!

Yes, I bought a damn kid.

No, I found it-- I don't know where its parents are!

This isn't me dumping it, this is a tag-team thing.

[it's beginning to whimper oh god cousland help him. travis drops his voice in volume because oh no HOW DOES HE STOP A CRYING BABY]

Please?

What?! Since when is this my responsibility?

[Gdit Travis why are you guys friends again? B|]

Maybe it's hungry. Or needs to be changed.

Since you walked in! You're here too, you gotta help or it's neglect!

[OBVIOUSLY.]

I'm not changing it. Jesus Christ, I hope it's just hungry.

It doesn't work that way!

[HUFF HUFF this isn't her kid she doesn't have to play mom ok]

Your kid. You get to deal with all the joys of fatherhood. [So smug omg.] You'd better find a wet nurse for him.

What did you do?!

[but it's actually neither of their faults, and there are a few things to check in terms of helping out a baby, and...it's got a full diaper.]

...I realize how this question will end, but do you know the closest place that one could get diapers?

[it's gonna be ok little one she will figure this out and force him to help]

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